I am a thinker. And an analyst. I like to roll ideas around in my head and see what comes out. I also like very much to write. I think I am a fair writer, but I might just also like the sound of my own words. Either way, I started this blog to get some of those ideas that roll around in my head out and down on paper (if you will, I guess this is electronic paper!). It makes me feel organized. Like there's one thing I can check off my endless to-do list in unraveling this crazy codependancy thing.
My posts thus far have served mostly as a venue to blow off some steam. It's my first tiny step toward surrender. I realize that I have to let go of some of these things, and for whatever reason this works. I have talked considerably about my qualifier, my husband, who is an alcoholic. What I haven't spent much time talking about is me. I guess that's a great example of my disease. Furthermore, after a lifetime of living in someone else's orbit, whether my father or my husband, I really don't know who I am. Well, maybe I do know. Maybe the issue is just that I don't know how to let the world know without fear of rejection.
This feels like a good place to begin to stretch out and begin to define the parameters of who I am. I like so very much the people I've met in this virtual Al-Anon world. It feels good to share with you all.
Just checking in
4 years ago
Beautifully done! I am hearing you!
ReplyDeletehallo rosalia, i've found my way here via cat... welcome and i look forward to reading more of your thoughts.
ReplyDeleteHi, I am also here via my favorite blogger, Cat! I can see why she feels such a connection with you! You are a brilliant writer and I look forward to reading more and growing with you! My story...Mother of at least two alcoholic/addicts, daughter of alcoholics and addicts, new Al-Anon member, learning and finally obtaining some peace. Blessings, Lisa
ReplyDeleteI just read Cat's blog and decided to take a trip over. Most of us, to a degree, like the sound of our own words, while some take it to the pathological. I doubt you do that.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you partly know who you are & as you write more other parts will begin to have more clarity for you. Instead of writing scenarios in your head, write them here. ~Mary
Hi. I just read Cat's blog and decided to come over and visit. You're a wonderful writer. I see and feel your emotion. I'm going to add you to my follower list if you don't mind. Your words are beautiful and strong -- I think your writing will help you find you to find "your" path. Believe in yourself.
ReplyDeletesmiles
Hiyaaa, I'm a friend of Cat's. And man can I identify with what you're saying above. Here I am finally free to do as I please and I dont even know what to do! Because I'm not taking care of anyone..and I dont know what I want..and I'm exhausted..and I'm....well you get it :)
ReplyDeleteNice to meet you!
Cat sent me this way, I hear what your saying, I just recently started Al-anon meetings and I'm not totally sure how to put much of what I hear and think into practice. I know that there is a me under the person that I have become, She's been screaming to be heard for years, but it's hard to let go of all the things that I've anchored myself to. I think it's going to take a bit of creativity to unearth her and flesh out the bones.
ReplyDelete~Susan
Hello another visitor from Tourism of Minister Cat.
ReplyDeleteAnother person to back you up if you need it. Welcome to the community. Sorry I ate the muffin basket.