My Own Orbit

I am a thinker. And an analyst. I like to roll ideas around in my head and see what comes out. I also like very much to write. I think I am a fair writer, but I might just also like the sound of my own words. Either way, I started this blog to get some of those ideas that roll around in my head out and down on paper (if you will, I guess this is electronic paper!). It makes me feel organized. Like there's one thing I can check off my endless to-do list in unraveling this crazy codependancy thing.

My posts thus far have served mostly as a venue to blow off some steam. It's my first tiny step toward surrender. I realize that I have to let go of some of these things, and for whatever reason this works. I have talked considerably about my qualifier, my husband, who is an alcoholic. What I haven't spent much time talking about is me. I guess that's a great example of my disease. Furthermore, after a lifetime of living in someone else's orbit, whether my father or my husband, I really don't know who I am. Well, maybe I do know. Maybe the issue is just that I don't know how to let the world know without fear of rejection.

This feels like a good place to begin to stretch out and begin to define the parameters of who I am. I like so very much the people I've met in this virtual Al-Anon world. It feels good to share with you all.