So, I went and had lunch yesterday with my Al-Anon friend...I think for ease of discussion I'll call her my Sponsor, even though that is not wholly accurate for now. Lunch was amazing. We found lots of common threads in our upbringings and even how we behave as adults. She's five years in the program and seems to me to be a fantastic touchstone, and yet she's still very humble and human. She talked about some of the things in her life that she was currently working on, and I felt very accepted and welcome to share in a dialouge.
We talked about meetings in our area and she shared with me which one was her home group. She has recently changed jobs and her schedule is not conducive to making as many meeting as she used to. This is also a barrier to developing a sponsor-sponsee relationship, but I think and hope that there will still be time to develop a closeness that can be beneficial to both of us.
I came out of our lunch with a powerful feeling of calm. I was slowed down...I thought before I answered questions, and didn't instantly jump to provide and explanation when I arrived back home to my husband. It was a wonderful but slightly foreign feeling.
So, after the lunch I went and picked up my daughter's Cinderella cake, and we went to a local hotel and swam all night long. She and her younger brother were absolutely exhausted. But when I woke up this morning, they were both snuggled up to me, and my arms were around both of them. I got no sleep, but savored every moment of being close to them without the tension that usually resides at home. And it was then, in the wee small hours of the morning light that I knew I was finally going in the right direction to be the best mother I can be to them.
Merry Christmas
7 years ago
you've painted a beautiful picture of motherhood. thank you.
ReplyDeleteGlad you found someone in our program that you can connect with in such a positive way. In my experience, those friends are vital to my recovery. Their added perspective is a gift. Keep coming back. Sounds like you are on your path and finding your way. Your night with your kids sounds like it was wonderful.....good for you for doing what felt right to you.
ReplyDeleteGood idea about the hotel and swimming. And it's great that you have found someone in Al-Anon who you can meet with and hopefully work with on the steps. It all sounds really positive.
ReplyDeleteI can't say enough good stuff about Al-Anon. I'm so glad your weekend went well ~ Allison
ReplyDeleteit sounds like you had a wonderful day and evening -- one that you and your children deserved.
ReplyDeletesmiles,