So, I went and had lunch yesterday with my Al-Anon friend...I think for ease of discussion I'll call her my Sponsor, even though that is not wholly accurate for now. Lunch was amazing. We found lots of common threads in our upbringings and even how we behave as adults. She's five years in the program and seems to me to be a fantastic touchstone, and yet she's still very humble and human. She talked about some of the things in her life that she was currently working on, and I felt very accepted and welcome to share in a dialouge.
We talked about meetings in our area and she shared with me which one was her home group. She has recently changed jobs and her schedule is not conducive to making as many meeting as she used to. This is also a barrier to developing a sponsor-sponsee relationship, but I think and hope that there will still be time to develop a closeness that can be beneficial to both of us.
I came out of our lunch with a powerful feeling of calm. I was slowed down...I thought before I answered questions, and didn't instantly jump to provide and explanation when I arrived back home to my husband. It was a wonderful but slightly foreign feeling.
So, after the lunch I went and picked up my daughter's Cinderella cake, and we went to a local hotel and swam all night long. She and her younger brother were absolutely exhausted. But when I woke up this morning, they were both snuggled up to me, and my arms were around both of them. I got no sleep, but savored every moment of being close to them without the tension that usually resides at home. And it was then, in the wee small hours of the morning light that I knew I was finally going in the right direction to be the best mother I can be to them.
Hello out there
10 months ago